At Hogwarts, I Shall Not
by Mynthia Fae
Summary: Random students learning things that should not be done while at Hogwarts. Rated for later, possibly crude humor.
1. Poke Hufflepuffs with Spoons

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything Harry Potter, I am not Jk rowling, and I do not make money from this.

A/N: Inspired by the The "Things I am not Allowed to do at Hogwarts" Challenge from Sharlmalfoy. Mostly random silly stuff from no one in particular.

**At Hogwarts, I Shall Not...**

**...Poke Hufflepuffs With Spoons.**

_Same old boring Monday. _

_Sitting here at the Ravenclaw table. _

_Staring at the same old breakfasts. _

_Honestly, you would think the house-elf's could get a little creative once in a while._

Sigh.

_Has anyone ever noticed that the Hufflepuff's got stuck with gawdy colors. I mean come on. Silver and green for Slytherins, at least that makes for a drop dead sexy set of dress robes. Blue and gold for Ravenclaw. Blue looks good on everyone. At least in that shade. Gryffindor got red and yellow, a bit halloweenish for me, but not half bad if tailored correctly._

_And that leaves Hufflepuffs. Black and yellow. Hufflepuffs. That could be a new cereal. Hmm... I wonder._

He turned around and poked his friend, who was unfortunate enough to land in Hufflepuff, for the third time with his spoon out of sheer laziness to lean the extra few inches to physically poke him himself.

He turned and sighed in that annoyed manner. "What?"

"So, how come Hufflepuff's sound like a cereal and got landed with tacky colors making them resemble a bumble be?"

Later in the infirmary…

_Ow!_

_Not to self. Poking a Hufflepuff with a spoon and then commenting they look like a bumblebee is not a good idea, and results in a black eye._


	2. Immitate Steve Irwin

**__**

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything Harry Potter, I am not Jk rowling, and I do not make money from this.

A/N: Inspired by the The "Things I am not Allowed to do at Hogwarts" Challenge from Sharlmalfoy. Mostly random silly stuff from no one in particular.

**At Hogwarts, I Shall Not...**

...Immitate Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures!

"Crikey mates! Have you ever seen a hippogriff with such a wingspan! That must be huge! Ten feet at least." I imitated, with near perfection, Steve Irwin.

_And now I am walking up to the infirmary because it comes out that Buckbeak does not like Australian accents. Who knew! Wow that is a lot of blood. I may not be able to go to class for a few days! Crikey!_

_I, obviously, have learned nothing today. No matter how good of an Australian accent I can do, I shall not imitate Steve Irwin during care of magical creatures class._

* * *

A/N: Yup, really short, but I'm not much of a Croc Hunter fan... Very AU obviously. Should be working on a non Drabble story, but these are fun!


	3. Hallucinogenic mushrooms

Herbology. Completely and totally pointless. I mean come on, why is it so important to know the differences between aconite, monkshood and wolfsbane.

Madame Sprout was still talking, though the boy was no longer listening. Alex has a severe distaste for paying attention.

This class would be a whole lot more fun if we discussed man-eating plants, or something with a snap to it. Or maybe had pink dragons in it. Now THAT would be an interesting class. "And now, this is the pink dragon of whales." But I guess that would be care of magical creatures.

_Oh joy, look at that. We are potting the plants… that were already in pots. Fabulous. _

_It's no wonder I am failing. What did she just say? Oh, I give up. This is so not my subject. Maybe I could do extra credit or something. Something interesting._

_Mushrooms._

Of the hallucinogen variety maybe. Then I would see my pink dragons!

"Class dismissed."

"Madame Sprout?"

Later that evening, in detention…

Alex was writing _**Growing hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology" **_100 times.

* * *

A/N: And for those paying attention, all three of the plants listed above are the same thing. Poor Alex needs to pay some more attention in class and less time thinking about pink dragons.

Sharlmalfoy: Glad you are enjoying :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything Harry Potter, I am not Jk rowling, and I do not make money from this.

A/N: Inspired by the The "Things I am not Allowed to do at Hogwarts" Challenge from Sharlmalfoy. Mostly random silly stuff from no one in particular.

**At Hogwarts, I Shall Not...**

**...Consider Growing hallucinogenic mushrooms as an "an extra credit project for Herbology".**


End file.
